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Alongside

Mental health, human and spiritual care

Mental health is hard, for almost everyone at some point. Alongside is a short practice with human and spiritual steps side by side, for you and for someone you love. It grows from one Bible story: Lazarus, called out of the tomb but still wrapped in grave clothes, and the words spoken to the people around him, “Loose him, and let him go.” Take it as a story, or as far more than a story, to whatever extent your own faith or beliefs lead you. This is open to everyone, with no assumptions about what you believe. We are rarely loosed alone.

Start on your own

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Where the idea comes from: a story about being unwrapped

Alongside grows from one story in the Bible, John 11. Lazarus has died, and his sisters and friends are heartbroken. Jesus weeps with them and calls Lazarus out. Lazarus walks out alive, but still wrapped in the cloths of the grave, hands and feet bound, face covered.

Then comes the line that matters: “Loose him, and let him go.” (John 11:44, KJV). It is spoken to the people standing around him.

Notice what happens. Lazarus is called out, but he does not unwrap himself. The people near him do it, one cloth at a time.

Many of us walk around wrapped in something: worry, grief, shame, exhaustion, a label we did not choose. It is not who you are, and you can be loosed from it. But hardly anyone is loosed alone. It happens when others see us, listen, help with one small thing, and bring in more help. These four steps work both ways: how others can loosen you, and how you can loosen someone you love.

A story to learn from, the way people have shared stories for thousands of years. Take it as far as your own faith or beliefs lead you. It does not ask you to join or believe anything. Many traditions carry the same truth in their own words, and you will meet some of them inside. Take what helps.

An invitation: try it once or twice on your own and see if it lifts you. Then share it with someone you love.

If you only have a minute

  1. Struggling is human. It is not a flaw, and it is not a verdict on you.
  2. It coming back is not failing. However many times a hard thing returns, it does not change your worth.
  3. Tell one person. You do not need the right words. “This has been heavy” is enough.
  4. Make the load smaller. One small step today: water, a walk, a breath, a prayer, one easy task.
  5. Be still for a minute. Not to solve anything. Just to rest in whatever you hold sacred.
  6. Use every kind of help. Spiritual care and human care work together: friends, family, doctors, counselors, and your own faith or values.

If you are in danger right now: in the US, call or text 988 any hour, or call 911. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number or look for a helpline in your country (findahelpline.com).

For teachers, youth groups, support groups, and teams

How to run it

  • For a group, it works best in crews of 3 or 4, each person on their own phone, sitting together. The private parts (how are you doing, who could you tell) stay on each person’s own screen. Read-aloud parts are read quietly to the crew.
  • Plan on about 35 minutes for a group. A second “friend” is optional and adds points.
  • Each crew picks one friend to practice with, so they can compare answers. Different crews can pick different friends. “You, overwhelmed” is the personal one. Eli’s story is heavier and is easy to skip.

The Crew Words

Students pause and reflect until you say the next word aloud. Say them when everyone has finished each part:

  • Warm-up: banana
  • After Notice: pickle
  • After Listen: llama
  • After Loosen: waffle
  • After Loop in: hiccup
  • If one student is stuck, quietly tell them openup.

Faith-neutral by design

Students choose their own words for what they hold sacred (God, the Divine, Spirit, Love, the Universe, or what I hold sacred), and the practice uses those words. The sayings and scriptures keep their own wording. You are welcome to invite students to bring a saying from their own tradition or their own values, and to make clear that no one has to share.

Safety

  • Some of this touches hard things, including a scenario about a friend who may be thinking about self-harm. Read it yourself first.
  • If a student tells you they are struggling, stay with them, tell a trusted adult the same day, and follow your organization’s safeguarding policy. In the US, 988 is call or text, any hour; 911 for danger right now. Outside the US, use your local crisis line.
  • This is a practice, not treatment. It does not replace a doctor, counselor, or crisis service.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version. The Quran is quoted from the Sahih International translation. Other passages are from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. The story of Jo is made up for this practice. It is not about a real person. The ideas from Hindu, Sikh, and Buddhist traditions, and from people with no religious belief, are summaries, not quotations. Each person is the best guide to their own tradition.