A lesson · When You Really Like Someone
Grade 6-8When You Really Like Someone
There’s more than one flavor of “liking someone” — this lesson helps you tell which one you’re feeling.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
Somewhere in this age range, most kids start having crushes, if they haven’t already — and most of them are quietly unsure what to do with the feeling. Nobody’s taught them that “liking someone” isn’t one single thing; it can feel like a couple of pretty different things wearing the same name. This lesson doesn’t tell kids whether they should or shouldn’t like anyone. It gives them one simple, private way to notice what a crush is actually doing to them — making them more themselves, or less.
This is deliberately not a dating-and-relationships lesson. Nothing here assumes anyone is dating, has ever dated, wants to, or is old enough to. It’s about the feeling of liking someone, full stop — which shows up long before dating does, and deserves its own honest attention. Nothing you don’t already have for prep.
Why “grabby” and “warm,” not “lust” and “love”: this lesson family (see `core-model.md`) deliberately never uses the word “lust” at this age, or anywhere a kid would hear it as a label for themselves. The goal is for a middle schooler to be able to notice “okay, this feeling is the grabby kind” without that noticing turning into shame about who they are. Heavier vocabulary and direct citation are saved for older bands, who can hold the word as a source-text term rather than a verdict on their own character.
What we're assuming
- Not every kid has had a crush yet, and that’s completely normal — nobody should feel behind or left out if this lesson doesn’t match their experience yet. - Every kid in the room has almost certainly liked someone at some point, even if “crush” isn’t the word they’d use — a friend, a classmate, a public figure. Any of that counts as “someone I like” for this lesson. - This room holds a range of faith backgrounds, and no one here has to share who they like, or whether they like anyone at all. - This isn’t a lesson about relationships, dating rules, or anything physical — it’s about noticing a feeling honestly.
Learning goals
What they walk away with
1. Notice that “liking someone” can feel more than one way, and that those ways are worth telling apart. 2. Feel the real difference between the jumpy, grabby version of liking someone and the calmer, warmer version — in their own body, not just as an idea. 3. Carry one question into real life: “Does liking this person make me more me, or less me?” 4. Have a private, honest moment with a real (or made-up, if they’d rather) crush, without any pressure to share it.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
- Never ask anyone to name who they like, or whether they like anyone at all. Keep every activity answerable in private, on paper. - If laughter or teasing starts (it will, some), let it pass without shutting the room down — then gently steer back: “Okay, okay — for real for a second.” - If a kid says “I’ve never liked anyone,” that’s a totally fine, complete answer. Don’t probe. - Keep this light where you can. It doesn’t need to be a heavy room to land.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
Naming the feeling
Ask: “Has anyone ever liked someone — a crush, or just really, really liked being around someone — and felt kind of jittery or weird about it? You don’t have to say who.”
Name it out loud once a few hands go up: “Yeah. That’s just what liking someone feels like sometimes. Totally normal, and nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Two flavors
Read these two short, made-up scenes aloud (no names needed — keep them generic):
Scene one: “You like someone. You check your phone every five minutes hoping they texted. When you see them talking to someone else, your stomach drops and you feel a little sick. You start changing how you act around them — laughing louder, pretending to like things you don’t — just to get them to notice you.”
Scene two: “You like someone. You feel happy just knowing they exist. When they talk to someone else, you’re a little bummed, but it passes. You still feel like yourself around them — maybe even a better, easier version of yourself.”
Ask: “Same word — ‘liking someone’ — but do those feel like the same thing to you?”
You get to stay you
Read together:
“There is but one I, or Us, but one divine Principle, or Mind, governing all existence; man and woman unchanged forever in their individual characters, even as numbers which never blend with each other, though they are governed by one Principle.”
Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, pp. 588:9–19
“In plain words: think of the numbers 3 and 7. They don’t turn into each other. They don’t have to blend to both be real, both be numbers, both work by the same math. You and someone you like are like that — two whole, separate people, both made by the same God, both fully yourselves. Liking someone is never supposed to mean either one of you stops being fully you.”
The question to carry
Teach the question: “Does liking this person make me more me, or less me?”
Unpack it with a few follow-ups (say these out loud, then let them sit with it privately in Beat 5):
- Do I feel calmer around this, or jumpier and on edge? - Am I being honest with my friends and family about how I feel, or hiding it and feeling weird about that? - Am I trying to change who I actually am to get them to like me back?
“None of those questions have a ‘right’ answer that means you have to stop liking someone. They’re just a way of checking in with yourself.”
Private reflection
Hand out paper. Nothing here gets shared aloud.
Prompt: “Think of someone you like right now, or someone you liked before, or make one up if you’d rather. Write down: does liking them make you feel more like yourself, or less? You don’t have to explain why — just notice.”
Give real quiet for this.
Closing
“However you answered — there’s no wrong answer here. You’re allowed to like someone. You’re also allowed to notice, honestly, what that liking is doing to you. That noticing is the whole skill.”
What you'll need
The materials
- Paper and pens for each participant
- The “Aligned or Not?” handout — printable, letter page
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
- Silence is completely normal for this topic at this age — let it sit, don’t fill it. - Teasing or giggling is expected; ride it out, then gently redirect rather than shutting the room down. - A strong emotional reaction — a kid seems suddenly upset, withdraws, or reacts more strongly than the moment calls for — pause the activity, ground the room with something neutral, and check in with that kid privately afterward. - A disclosure of real harm — anything suggesting an unsafe situation with an older person, any kind of pressure or secrecy that doesn’t sound like an ordinary crush, or any sign of harm — stop facilitating the activity, respond as a caring adult, and follow the site’s mentor safety guidelines and your own local mandatory-reporting obligations. Don’t try to resolve it in the room.
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
Tell us — this only gets better with your eyes on it. We read every one of these.