A lesson · Does God Make My Decisions For Me?
Grade 6-8Does God Make My Decisions For Me?
A tool for the everyday choices that feel bigger than they look — tryouts, friend fights, and where your time actually goes.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
This age group is just starting to be able to genuinely hold a hypothetical — “how might I feel about this later, versus how I feel right now” — which is exactly what this lesson needs from them. That’s new territory developmentally, so don’t expect the fluency a 17-year-old would bring to the same exercise; expect it to take real effort and go slowly, especially the first time through. Keep every example at the scale this age actually lives in: whether to try out for something, a fight with a friend, how to spend limited time between activities. Skip anything that reads as an adult-stakes decision (career, relationships as in dating-for-the-future, family finances) — it isn’t theirs to carry yet, and importing it makes the lesson feel like it’s talking past the room.
Don’t teach this as “here’s how to hear God’s voice telling you the answer.” Teach it as “here’s how you get calm and honest enough to actually see your own next step clearly” — the distinction matters, because the first framing sets kids up to feel like failures when no voice arrives, and the second one gives them something they can actually do.
What we're assuming
- Most kids this age are facing some real, if contained, decision right now — a tryout, a friend group shifting, how to split time between two things they both want.
- They may feel pressure to already know the “right” answer, or worry that hesitating means something is wrong with them.
- Some kids will want to keep their actual decision private. That’s fine — the tools work without disclosure.
- Give kids a private option before asking anyone to share out loud (see Beat 4). Forced vulnerability at this age often produces performance, not honesty.
Learning goals
What they walk away with
- Name one real decision they’re currently facing, at the scale that actually belongs to their life right now.
- Practice the simplified time-distance question — “how will I feel about this tomorrow, next month, next year?” — on a real or hypothetical choice.
- Recognize the difference between wanting someone to agree with them and actually trying to see a situation clearly.
- Have at least one written, private reflection on a real decision that they don’t have to share with anyone.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
- Don’t require anyone to name their actual decision out loud. The tools work whether or not the room knows the specifics.
- If a kid says something like “but I already know what I want to do,” that’s fine — the point isn’t to create doubt, it’s to give them a way to check their own thinking, not to talk them out of a good instinct.
- Watch for a kid who seems to be carrying something heavier than a typical middle-school-scale decision (see “If it’s not going well” below) and check in with them one-on-one afterward.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
Waiting for a sign, or avoiding the decision?
Ask: “When you’re stuck on a decision — even a small one, like whether to try out for something or how to handle a fight with a friend — do you usually feel like you’re waiting for a sign to appear, or are you actually just avoiding deciding?”
You don’t need a right answer here. Just let kids notice which one feels more true for them.
Tomorrow, next month, next year
“Here’s a tool that helps: ask yourself how you’ll feel about this choice tomorrow, in a month, and in a year. Sometimes something that feels huge today barely matters in a month. Sometimes something that feels small today actually matters a lot in a year. Both are useful to know.”
Activity: Using a real or made-up example (a tryout, a friend conflict, how to spend a weekend), walk through all three time distances together as a group, then let kids try it with their own situation on paper.
Discuss: “Did any of your three answers surprise you?”
Am I looking for clearness, or just for agreement?
“There’s a sneaky trap everyone falls into: looking for people who’ll agree with you, instead of actually trying to see a situation clearly. Ask yourself: ‘am I just looking for someone to agree with me, or am I actually trying to understand what’s true here?’”
Discuss (pairs or small groups of 3): “Think of a time you asked someone for advice but you’d already decided what you wanted to hear. What was that like? How is that different from actually wanting to see clearly?”
Private reflection
Give everyone paper. This part is not shared aloud unless they choose to.
Prompt: “What’s one decision you’re facing right now? What does ‘tomorrow, next month, next year’ tell you about it? Is there a part of you that’s just looking for someone to agree, instead of actually trying to see clearly?”
Give real silence for this — 4-5 minutes of actual quiet, not filled with talking.
You don’t need the whole staircase
“You don’t have to see your whole future to take the next honest step. You just need the next one, with whatever you can actually see right now. You’re not carrying this alone.”
Read together:
“I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”
Psalm 32:8
What you'll need
The materials
- Paper and pens for each participant
- A whiteboard, poster paper, or shared doc for Beat 2
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
This lesson is built for everyday, contained decisions — not for choices that involve real danger or family instability. If a private reflection, a comment, or a kid’s body language suggests something bigger is going on (pressure from an unsafe relationship, a family situation that isn’t actually a normal “decision” but a crisis, signs of real distress rather than ordinary indecision), don’t try to work it through with the 10-10-10 tool. Follow the site’s mentor safety guidelines (For Mentors page), loop in the appropriate adult per your church’s child-safety policy, and take it as seriously as you would any other disclosure at this age — it can arrive quietly, inside a written reflection rather than spoken aloud.
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
Tell us — this only gets better with your eyes on it. We read every one of these.