A lesson · When You Feel Sad (And Don’t Know Why)
K-2When You Feel Sad (And Don’t Know Why)
A short story and a craft for the days when something got lost — a pet, a toy, a friend who moved — and the sad feelings don’t come in any order, and take time, and that’s okay.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
At 5-8, kids don’t yet have “grief” as an abstract idea — but they absolutely have the concrete experience of losing something that mattered: a pet, a favorite stuffed animal left at a hotel, a friend who moved away, a grandparent who “isn’t coming for pancakes anymore.” Keep the whole lesson at the level of a specific loss, told as a story, never as a discussion of “grief” as a concept, and never as a message that they should be “over it” quickly. This age doesn’t need — and can’t really use — the idea that feelings happen “in stages.” What they can use is permission: sad, mad, silly, and fine can all show up in the same afternoon, none of them means they’re doing it wrong, and it’s fine for it to take a while. Nothing you don’t already have for prep — a stuffed animal or a picture of a pet works if you have one; if not, the story does the same work without a prop.
If this lesson is landing near an actual recent loss for a kid in the room, tell that kid’s grown-up beforehand if you can, and let the child opt out of any part of the activity without explanation.
What we're assuming
Not every child in the room has the same faith background, and some may be sitting with a loss much bigger than the story’s pet or toy — a person, maybe recently. Nobody in the room is assumed to have “gotten over” anything, and nobody’s asked to share more than a stuffed-animal-and-a-color.
Learning goals
What they walk away with
- Leaves knowing that feeling sad, mad, or just “off” about something lost doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them, and that it’s okay for that to take time.
- Leaves with one thing to do the next time a sad feeling shows up (name it, say it to a grown-up, or draw it).
- Leaves knowing there’s Someone who doesn’t go anywhere, even on the hardest days — without needing to explain that theologically.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
Open with the story, not a question. If a child gets quiet or teary during the story, that’s the story working, not a problem to manage — you can simply say “it’s okay to feel that” and keep going gently. Give an explicit, easy way to pass on the craft or the sharing part (“you can just watch today, that’s just as good”). Don’t wrap up with a spoken moral — let the story and the craft carry it.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
The goldfish story
Tell a short original story (or read one you already have) about a child whose goldfish died, or a favorite toy that got left behind on a trip and never came back. Keep it concrete and specific — a name for the goldfish, a color for the toy. In the story, the child feels several different things, not in order, and it takes a little while before things feel normal again: mad that the fish is gone, then giggly at something funny at school that same day, then sad again at dinner, then fine, then sad again a few days later out of nowhere. Nobody in the story tells the child they’re feeling it wrong or that they should be done being sad by now.
Naming the weather
Bring out a simple prop — a paper “weather wheel” (sun, rain cloud, swirly mixed-up cloud, rainbow) or just your own hands miming weather. Ask: “In the story, was the kid’s sad all one kind of weather, or did it change?” Let kids answer in one word each; this isn’t a discussion, it’s quick call-and-response. The point: feelings about a loss come and go like weather, not in a straight line, and every kind of weather is allowed, for as long as it shows up.
Make a “comfort card”
Kids each get a small card or half-sheet. On one side, they draw or write about something (or someone) they’ve missed. On the other side, they draw or write about someone who’s always there for them no matter what — a parent, a pet, a friend — and, if it fits naturally for your group, you can offer: “Some people believe God is like that too — always there, no matter what, for as long as it takes, like a comforter that helps carry the hard parts.” Don’t require this half to be filled in; drawing a person who loves them is enough.
Closing circle
Go around fast, no pressure, and let each kid say one word for how they’re feeling right now, today — not about the story, just right now. Accept every answer without commentary. Close by saying plainly: whatever weather they’re in today is okay, it’s allowed to take some time, and someone is always there in it.
What you'll need
The materials
Paper, crayons/markers, and the printable comfort card handout — nothing else required. A stuffed animal or photo to anchor the goldfish/toy story is a nice touch but not necessary.
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
Silence during the sharing parts is normal for this age around a sad topic — let it sit. A kid saying something surprising or sideways is normal too; follow their lead rather than redirecting hard. If a child gets upset, pause, sit with them, and let the room see that it’s okay to feel that — you don’t need to fix the tears before moving on. If a child discloses a real, recent loss or something concerning, stop facilitating the activity for that moment, respond as the caring adult in the room, and loop in their grown-up and/or follow the site’s mentor safety guidelines and your own local mandatory-reporting obligations. This lesson’s script doesn’t cover further than that.
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
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