A lesson · The Dragon Interview
TeenThe Dragon Interview
The most disarming thing you can say to someone’s dragon isn’t an argument. It’s a question, and you’re going to practice it on each other.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
At this age, fear about the future is not abstract: school and career (and what AI does to both), the planet, the state of the news. Many also have a “loop” with a parent, partner, or friend that they’ve stopped expecting to end. They are also allergic to being told how to feel, and quick to spot a spiritual platitude. So this lesson doesn’t hand over a conclusion. It hands over a skill to try. The pair practice in Beat 3 is the lesson, and the texts exist to support it.
Anchor examples in this band’s real territory: independence, the future, big-world worry, the fight that won’t end. Keep the big-world fears general (“the news,” “the planet,” “what’s coming”). Named war and partisan political material lives only in the 21-plus version.
The best question in the room will be some version of “isn’t ‘refuse the dragon’s terms’ just a fancy way of not caring?” Welcome it. It’s the lesson working, not a problem to manage.
Nothing you don’t already have: index cards and a board.
What we're assuming
- Every student here has a dragon right now, usually more than one, and most have been managing them alone, in a group chat, or by numbing out.
- Faith backgrounds vary, and so do convictions about almost everything. This lesson never asks anyone to soften a conviction. The dragon isn’t “the other side.” It’s the fear, lie, and hate that can wrap around any side.
- Some students will reach for a dragon that is genuinely heavy. The interview is not therapy, so invite a medium-weight dragon. Nobody should use a peer exercise for the hardest thing in their life.
- “Reach” (Beat 4) never means staying close to someone who is hurting you. See When Someone Feels Like the Enemy.
Learning goals
What they walk away with
- Can tell the difference between three responses to a dragon (fighting it on its terms, fleeing it, or refusing its terms) and name which one they default to.
- Has practiced, not just heard about, sizing a fear with a question instead of an argument (“What specifically are you afraid of losing?”) and felt what happens to it.
- Leaves with one real Reach, a true, kind, practical act, planned for the next two days.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
- Go first with an honest confession of smallness (the garden hose is real, and the posture matters more than the joke).
- Do a real 60-second demo of the interview, and model the don’ts: no fixing, no debating, no sympathy speech, no “well, actually,” no trading stories.
- Ask, don’t tell. Let disagreement live.
- Anonymous cards before anything is said aloud. Read a handful without comment beyond “thank you.”
- Never use the line “why should we stand aghast at nothingness?” (Science and Health 563:7) as a correction to someone’s fear. It’s a lens for the person holding it, not a verdict on anyone else’s.
- Pocket note: if someone says “but it feels like a fight,” agree, and offer Science and Health 567:3–7 (Beat 5). It can feel like wrestling, and underneath it there’s no contest.
- Pair safety: medium-weight dragons only. Either partner can stop at any point, and writing instead of speaking is fine. If a partner says something that worries you about their safety, tell the facilitator or a trusted adult afterward rather than carrying it alone.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
The dragon pile
Confession first. Then hand out index cards: “Write one dragon you’re sizing up right now: one line, no name.” Prime the pump only if needed (the future, a group chat, a fight on loop, the news, AI, a grade, a parent). Collect, shuffle, and read six to eight aloud with no commentary beyond “thank you” and “yep.” Then: “Seven heads, ten horns. Throw it in the pile.” Read Revelation 12:3–4 aloud (a great red dragon with seven heads and ten horns, its tail sweeping a third of the stars out of the sky, poised to devour a newborn). “It’s dramatic on purpose.” Then read:
“The great red dragon symbolizes a lie... This dragon stands for the sum total of human error.”
Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 563:8–10
“Notice what it doesn’t say: it doesn’t say your fear is stupid. It says what’s wrapped around the real thing is a costume.”
Fight, flee, or refuse
Write three words on the board: FIGHT, FLEE, REFUSE. Pull examples from the pile. Fight is arguing harder, dunking, outrage-posting, winning the fight. Flee is doomscrolling, numbing, avoiding, “I don’t care.” Then: “Notice that both keep the dragon big, because both accept its terms. It picks the field.” Ask: “Is there a third option? What would it look like?” Then read:
”...we have no might against this great company that cometh against us; neither know we what to do: but our eyes are upon thee.”
2 Chronicles 20:12, KJV
A note for you: this is a king facing an army, admitting he has no weapon and no plan. The story goes on in ways we’re not teaching here. We’re borrowing one thing, the honest posture. Then read:
“Truth and Love prevail against the dragon because the dragon cannot war with them.”
Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 567:10–12
“It doesn’t say Truth and Love win the fight. It says there’s no field for the dragon to fight on.” Ask: “What might refusing look like, in practice, for one dragon in the pile?” Steady, present, curious: not numb, not loud.
The Dragon Interview
Pair up. Demo it first for 60 seconds with a volunteer or co-facilitator, using a light, low-stakes dragon. Put the rules on the board: The interviewer may only say two things: “What specifically are you afraid of losing?” and “What else?” (Silence and nodding are allowed.) No fixing, no debating, no advice, no matching stories. The dragon-holder picks a medium-weight dragon (from the pile or their own). Give four minutes. Then the dragon-holder says or writes, in one sentence, what’s left once the costume is off. Swap. Finish with a two-minute whole-group debrief: “Did your dragon change size? What did you notice about the question?” (Common answers: it turned out to be about a person, a value, or a next step. And sometimes the dragon doesn’t shrink; it gets honest. That counts.)
Love is a verb
“Truth was the question. Love is the next move.” Read:
“Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need.”
Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 494:10–11
“In this lesson Love isn’t a mood. It’s practical.” Offer three examples: text the person you’re mid-fight with something true and kind instead of something technically correct; replace one doomscroll with one act (a bridge, a hand); ask someone who sees it differently a real question and then listen. Each person writes one Reach on their index card: true, kind, practical, and doable in the next two days. Say the boundary out loud: “A Reach never means staying close to someone who’s hurting you. Sometimes the loving move is a boundary, or telling a trusted adult.”
The honest questions
Open the floor with one or two of these:
- “Isn’t ‘refuse the dragon’s terms’ just a fancy way of not caring? Where’s the line between refusing and looking away?” (A hint if needed: refusing stays present and acts. Looking away leaves.)
- “Can you hold a strong conviction and still refuse the dragon’s terms?”
- “Which is your default, fight or flee, and what’s it costing you?”
Let disagreement stand. If someone says it still feels like a fight, that’s honest, and it’s on the same page as the dragon sentence:
“Truth and Love come nearer in the hour of woe, when strong faith or spiritual strength wrestles and prevails through the understanding of God. The Gabriel of His presence has no contests.”
Science and Health, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 567:3–7
“Both can be true: it can feel like wrestling, and underneath, there’s no contest.” Close by handing out the wallet card and asking the three questions on it, privately or aloud: “Which dragon are you sizing up this week?”
What you'll need
The materials
- Index cards and a board or poster paper
- The printable “Inside the Costume” handout — a take-home version of the costume and what’s inside it — and “The World’s Worst Dragon Slayer” wallet card, which carries the three questions
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
Silence on the first beat is normal, because naming a fear on a card is exposing even when it’s anonymous. Give it room. Pushback (especially “this sounds like not caring”) deserves an honest answer, not a deflection, and it’s better taken as the lesson working than as resistance. A strong emotional reaction, like a student who is clearly carrying something heavy, calls for a pause, a private word, and permission to step out. A disclosure of real harm, or anything suggesting a student is unsafe, should not be handled as group discussion. Respond as a caring adult, point to the site’s mentor safety guidelines, and observe your own mandatory-reporting obligations where they apply.
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
Tell us — this only gets better with your eyes on it. We read every one of these.