A lesson · Doors or Walls: Finding Words That Fit
Grade 6-8Doors or Walls: Finding Words That Fit
Some words about God make you want to lean in. Some make you want to leave the room. Both are worth noticing.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
This is often the first time a young person consciously notices that a word an adult used for God doesn’t quite land anymore — without yet having language for why. That’s not doubt to be corrected; it’s a normal, healthy part of abstract thinking coming online around this age. Don’t supply the “right” word, and don’t treat a kid’s honest “that word doesn’t work for me anymore” as a problem to fix. The private journaling step exists so kids who aren’t ready to say something out loud still get to think it through — never require anyone to share what they wrote.
What we're assuming
- Everyone in the room already has some vocabulary for “something bigger than me” — even “I don’t know” counts.
- Some kids may feel protective of words their family or church uses, and some may already feel quiet friction with those words. Both are welcome here.
Learning goals
What they walk away with
- Notices at least one word about God or the sacred that feels like a door, and one that feels like a wall — for them, specifically.
- Writes down, privately, one word they’re unsure still fits, without pressure to explain it to anyone.
- Tries translating one word into their own language, keeping what the original word was trying to protect.
- Leaves knowing that a word not working for them isn’t the same as the idea being wrong — and that no one else gets to decide the “right” word for them.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
- Keep the tone light and curious, not confessional — this isn’t a place to relitigate family or church doctrine out loud.
- Offer the gentler starter words (believe, pray, holy) first. Only offer the heavier ones (master, worship, sin) as an option, not a requirement.
- Never call on someone to share their private journal entry. Ask for volunteers only.
- If a kid says a word connected to their family or church doesn’t work for them, don’t reassure them out of it or defend the word. Just let it be noticed.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
Words That Land, Words That Don’t
Name a few words adults have used around you to talk about God or “something bigger” — church, family, books, movies, wherever. For each one: does it feel like a door you want to walk through, or a wall you want to walk around?
The Idea Isn’t the Words
Share: people made up the words we use for God, a long time ago and more recently too, doing their best to point at something too big for words to fully hold. Words can wear out or stop fitting. What they’re pointing at doesn’t wear out. Discuss: Is there a word your family or tradition uses for God that still feels true to you? Is there one that used to feel true and doesn’t quite anymore?
Private Journal: Your Word
On your own, write down one word about God or the sacred that you’re not sure fits you anymore — or one that still fits and you want to hold onto. This is just for you. No one will ask you to read it out loud.
Translate It
Pick one word — believe, pray, holy, or (if you want) master, worship, sin — and try putting it in your own words, without losing what the original word was trying to protect. Example: “believe” might become “trusting something even when I can’t see all of it yet.” Discuss (share only if you want to): What did you land on? What was tricky about translating it?
You Get to Keep Translating
Close with: there’s no test here, and no wrong word. Whatever words you have right now — or don’t have yet — for something bigger than you that loves you, that’s enough for today. You get to keep translating as you grow.
What you'll need
The materials
- Paper and pens, or index cards for the private journaling beat — a shared doc works for virtual groups, but keep the journaling portion private (not shared on screen)
- Optional printables: Handout “Door or Wall?”; Handout “Translate It”
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
At this age, what surfaces is often quiet rather than dramatic — a kid going silent, seeming embarrassed, or worrying they’re disappointing a parent or church by admitting a word doesn’t work for them anymore. Don’t push for more. Reassure them that noticing is allowed and nothing here needs to leave the room unless they want it to. If something surfaces that feels bigger than this lesson — real family conflict, fear, or distress — pause and follow the site’s mentor safety guidelines (For Mentors page).
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
Tell us — this only gets better with your eyes on it. We read every one of these.