A lesson · Big Ego, Little Ego
Grade 6-8Big Ego, Little Ego
There are two voices arguing about who you are — only one of them is actually you.
Assumptions & Caveats
Before you begin
What you should know
This is the first age where the letter-case idea itself — capital-E Ego versus lowercase-e ego — becomes usable, and honestly, kind of fun. Abstract thinking is coming online, and this group can genuinely enjoy discovering that one letter changes everything. Keep the examples relational and close to their actual week: grades, group chats, who got picked, comparison with a friend or sibling — not workplace or geopolitical material, which belongs to older bands. Self-worth is unusually externally anchored at this age; treat this as a known developmental feature, not a flaw in any kid in the room.
What we’re assuming
- Most kids this age are already fluent in comparison — grades, followers, group chats, teams, siblings. - Some may be dealing with real anxiety or family pressure around performance right now. This lesson can be moving for them, or it can surface something bigger than a class setting can hold — see “If it’s not going well.” - Give a private option before any sharing. Forced vulnerability at this age often produces performance, not honesty.
What we're assuming
Learning goals
What they walk away with
1. Notice one specific thing the little-e voice actually says on a normal day — not “insecurity” in the abstract, the real sentence. 2. Understand, not just as a slogan, that this voice isn’t automatically the truth about who they are. 3. Carry one question into a real moment this week. 4. Have at least one private, unshared reflection — this age needs the option of privacy to be honest at all.
How to hold the room
Before you start talking
- Don’t require sharing. Offer it, make it easy, and let silence be okay. - Hold both truths: grades and comparisons do matter practically, and worth isn’t the same thing as performance. Don’t argue either one away. - Watch for a kid who goes quieter than their normal reserve — that’s worth a private check-in after.
The lesson flow
Step by step
Each beat alternates a little input, a little doing, and a little reflecting. Skip, slow down, or stretch any of these to fit your group.
Word study warm-up
“Ego” is Latin for “I.” Ask: “When someone says a person ‘has a big ego,’ is that usually a compliment or an insult?” (Insult — boastful, full of themselves.)
“What if I told you God actually wants you to have a big Ego — just spelled with a capital letter, and meaning something completely different?” Let that sit for a second before explaining anything.
Two voices, named
Introduce the distinction: big-E Ego — God, the one true “I,” the source everything reflects — and little-e ego — the mortal, anxious voice that has to prove and defend itself. Read:
“I, or EGO. Divine Principle; Spirit; Soul; incorporeal, unerring, immortal, and eternal Mind.”
Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy, p. 588:9
“And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM.”
Exodus 3:14
Ask: “What’s different about an ‘I’ that doesn’t have to prove it exists, compared to the ‘I’ most of us live inside on a normal day?”
The two-voices T-chart (private first)
Give everyone paper, folded in half. On one side: everything little-e ego says on a normal day — specific, not abstract (“I’m not enough,” “what do they think of me,” “I have to win this,” a grudge, needing to be picked first). On the other side: what big-E Ego already knows is true (whole, loved, complete, unafraid, doesn’t have to compete for what it already has).
5 minutes, silent, individual. Then optional pairs share (not required).
Scenario work
Small groups get one or two real scenarios: didn’t make a team, a comment or text that landed wrong in a group chat, comparing grades with a friend, losing an argument with a parent.
Ask each group: “What’s little-e ego’s reaction here? What does big-E Ego already know that makes that reaction unnecessary?”
Groups report back briefly.
One question to carry
Teach the question: “Is this the little-e voice talking, or is this actually true about me?”
Practice it once together on a shared example before closing.
Closing
“You are not the anxious voice arguing for your worth today. You’re already the reflection of the one Mind that doesn’t have to argue for anything.”
What you'll need
The materials
- Paper (folded in half) and pens, one per participant
- Index cards for the Beat 4 scenarios (optional)
- Print and hand out the “Big Ego, Little Ego” wallet card
If it's not going well
When this one gets heavy
This age carries real developmental risk around self-worth and comparison — this lesson can surface genuine distress, not just useful discomfort. If a student’s private reflection, body language, or comments suggest something beyond ordinary middle-school pressure — persistent hopelessness, signs of self-harm, disclosure of harm from someone else — don’t try to resolve it in class. Follow the site’s mentor safety guidelines (For Mentors page), loop in the appropriate adult per your church’s child-safety policy, and take it as seriously as any other disclosure at this age — it can arrive quietly, inside a written reflection rather than spoken aloud.
For the fuller tiered guidance — including what to do if someone discloses something serious — see For Mentors.
Help this get better
Teaching this to a group we haven't planned for?
Tell us — this only gets better with your eyes on it. We read every one of these.