A VISUAL · THE YES/NO FLOW
Five Questions for a Coach Hand
Before you step in, ask yourself these. In order.
STARTMy friend is stuck, and I really want to help.
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1HURT?Is anyone hurt or in danger?
YES →GET A GROWN-UP NOW Their need is real. Tell a trusted grown-up right away — you don’t have to hold it alone.
NO →Go to question 2
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2CALM?Am I calm, or am I panicking?
CALM →Go to question 3
PANICKING →BREATHE Take a breath. Wait a second. Come back when you’re calm.Then back to question 2.
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3CAN THEY?Do I think my friend can do this?
YES →Go to question 4
NO →LOOK AGAIN Name one thing they’re good at. Then ask again.Then back to question 3.
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4DID THEY ASK?Did they ask me?
YES →Go to question 5
NO →ASK FIRST “Want help, or want me to listen?” Then do what they say.
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5THEIR JOB?Is it something they can do themselves?
YES →COACH HAND Ask questions. Point to what they’re good at. Stay next to them.
NO →HELP — NO STRINGS Help, and don’t keep score.
EITHER WAYEither way: stay close. I’m a friend, not the battery.
The power to do it is already in your friend.