A VISUAL · THE YES/NO FLOW
Five Questions Before You Help
Hurried, panicked help isn’t wise help yet. Check the thought first.
STARTSomeone I care about is struggling — and I feel the pull to step in.
↓
1SAFETYIs anyone in danger right now?
YES →TELL A TRUSTED ADULT Tell a trusted adult right away. Their need is real — you don’t have to hold it alone.
NO →Go to question 2
↓
2MY GROUNDAm I calm enough to listen?
YES →Go to question 3
NO →PAUSE Breathe. Listen. Hurried help isn’t wise yet. Come back when calm.Then back to question 2.
↓
3THEIR ABILITYDo I see them as able — not needing me to survive?
YES →Go to question 4
NO →LOOK AGAIN Something bigger than this problem is in charge, not me. Name one real strength in them. Then ask again.Then back to question 3.
↓
4THEIR CHOICEDid they ask me?Yes = they asked. No = I decided.
YES →Go to question 5
NO →OFFER, DON’T IMPOSE “I’m here. What would help?” Then listen, and let them decide.
↓
5THEIR WORKWould I be doing what they can do themselves?
YES →STAY BESIDE Ask questions. Name their strengths. Stay close without taking over.
NO →GIVE FREELY They may truly need a ride, a meal, an ear. Give it — no strings, no scorekeeping.
EITHER WAYStay close. I’m a friend, not the source.
They may truly need your help. That was never the question — the question is the thought it comes from.